Updated: Jul 10, 2022
Do you sometimes find it difficult to express yourself clearly and calmly? Does it feel like there is physically a hand clenching your throat shut and making it hard to breathe let alone speak when you need to have an uncomfortable conversation? Do you bottle things up and then explode, hurting the ones you love? Do you doubt yourself or whether or not it’s okay to feel certain things? Do you feel anxious around people? Is there something painful that has been said or done to you by someone whose opinion meant a lot to you?
If you feel like I am talking about you, then you are not alone. Some time ago I would have answered yes to all the above too. I was a mess of social anxiety, fear, self doubt and PTSD. I had mood swings and found it difficult to control my emotions. I kept repeating the same mistakes over and over in relationships. I was unable to stand up for myself or speak out when people hurt me and this made me an easy target for abusive narcissists.
The good news is that I found help in a beautiful crystal with a gentle energy called Blue Lace Agate. It wasn't an easy journey but I am healthier and happier than ever before.
I wore that crystal around my throat for more than a year and it helped me find my voice, speak my truth and find stability and inner strength. It gently helped me release the layers of hurt and fear and stress that had built up with years and years of emotional abuse.
During this painful process I had to learn to identify the things I did to encourage and allow people to treat me this way and to change those things. Believe me when I tell you there were many. I am not saying that I deserved the abuse, nobody ever deserves it, just that I learned to recognize how I allowed it. The main thing I found was that I was not standing up for myself. I was not communicating my needs effectively. I was not standing up and saying no when people violated my boundaries so little transgressions turned into big ones.
During that time of learning and growing, Blue Lace Agate kept me stable and feeling safe.
It is a member of the quartz family so it is very good at clearing away old, stagnant and negative energy. It is also an agate - which means that it is very small quartz crystals that formed in bands – so it is stabilizing and protective during any kind of journey. I was on a journey brothas and sistas, I was undertaking my hero’s journey to the depths of hell. It was the most difficult and worthwhile thing I have ever done and I encourage you to learn about shadow work and undertake your own.
Blue Lace Agate gently dissolved that nervous tension in my throat that made it so difficult for me to speak my truth. It brought my truth to the surface and helped me see that it was the only truth that mattered. I realized that I did not need to bend my beliefs or values to fit with anyone else’s truth, that if they couldn’t respect my truth then they couldn’t respect me and they didn’t belong in my life. I started to understand that the fact that I was not compatible with someone was not the same as a rejection. I learned that the things I thought I admired in other people whom I barely knew was really just a projection of the strength I saw in myself.
For the first time I knew myself and this helped me be more confident in social settings. It became easier for me to say the little things out loud as they came up so that they did not turn into big problems. Things became more peaceful in my world, in my relationships and in my soul. I was finally able to let go of anger and fear that no longer served me and truly heal by integrating my whole self.
Harmony, balance and truth became the things that defined my existence.
I am not telling you to buy some blue lace agate and that that will be the end of your problems. If that is what you are looking for then this stone might not be for you. I am telling you that if you are ready to put in the work and undergo the difficult journey to become the best you can be then Blue Lace Agate is an incredibly powerful talisman to guide and fortify you on your way.
I wish you blessings on your path and may you find your peace, your truth and your balance.
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